omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
