I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
