Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
