wakey wakey hands off snakey
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
