How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
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