her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
