Im at strip club and am horny
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
