so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
