Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
