Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
