i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
