There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
