I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
not ubering you a puppy
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
