I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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