Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
