exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
