:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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