you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
