we have officially lost it.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
