Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
