I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
