You made me cry and you don't even care
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
