Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
