3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize