Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
tell me about the fingering
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