To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
COCAINE IS GR8
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
