My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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