This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
this is an emotional support booty call
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
