Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
