You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
