butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
COCAINE IS GR8
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
