I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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