His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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