break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
