Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
