I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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