Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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