im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
