well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
