also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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