Even water is tasting like jack daniels
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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