If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
