My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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