We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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