i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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