You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
