Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
