My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
