i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
