Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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