Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
